Friends...
How loose a term...

I thought I had a few that I could confide in.. ones that wouldn't judge me without reason...
Turns out I was sadly mistaken.

Sure I have a few ...VERY few, that are exactly what they claim to be...but.. not the others.
You know the types...
They swear that no matter what they will always be your friend..
That you can always count on them?

It's funny.. I personally claim to be that type of friend.. and I have proven myself time and time again.
Even going as far as putting my own happiness on hold for another..risking friends, and family, and my sl business..

The ONE time that I decide to take care of MYSELF first, I lose a ton of friends, because of one person not being able to handle losing a staff member.. who btw, she told ME I was one of the best she had, only to turn around and tell my new boss, I did nothing for her!
OMG!
Hell I felt like she was LOOKING for a reason to fire me, just by the way she spoke to me.

It's funny though... I was only worried about hurting my fellow DJs, and a few ppl that I thought of as friends..
Odd thing..
The ppl that support me NOW.. are ppl I didn't even think LIKED me..

Well my ex boss, and now...ex friend...so sad... threatened me, threatened the new club I'm at..
Didn't bother telling her partner I didn't work there anymore... and I pray I don't lose HIM as a friend..
She is now slandering my name..

I mean.. why? because I don't work for her anymore.

That is so stupid, and the thing is, I didn't WANT to be a dj..
I was djing at other clubs, and I only wanted a dancing job that I didn't have to strip at..

The head dj over heard myself and a friend talking about djing and boom, I was asked to apply..
So I did.
I wanted to help her out, the owner, because she seemed so nice, and I took a shinning to my now sister.
9not the club owner, my sis was the manger).

I will admit, at first it was alot of fun.

Things started to change though..

Djs talking down to me.. and to others.
The tag issue..

My Aspergers firing off left right and center..

The owner, becoming something we all were surprised to see.

This woman, my "friend", had changed into the meanest female I had ever met on sl..
HELL I thought Cleo was mean with her reaction to my opinion last year of her store...
Well, the owner started to top that..

And... stress got worse when I opened my store, and Hunter and I needing time together that I was NOT crying..(due to the meanness at the club).

I wasn't making anything at the club, less then 100 per week.
I NEEDED a new job, so I could support my store!

So, when talking to my sister, she mentioned the place she was working paid per hour..
I had to take it.
I am sorry that the other owner was pissed but, I HAD to make lindens.
I want to keep my store, and my studio.

The owner made a HUGE deal about a house that she allowed me to stay in..
Well, ty to her.. but, as I said, it comes down to income, and my store, and well #1, my relationship with my partner.


hunter was on the tele with me as this all went down.
He knows how I got the job. He knows how everyone reacted, and especially, he knows how I PERSONALLY took everything..

I am a true friend.. I stood by the club owner, even after ppl were talking shit about her..
BUT
Now...
I can't..

Not after what she did to me.

And now I have lost friends because she is soo insecure, and has this horrid need to make everyone hurt so she can feel better.
Its silly, and immature, and i thought we were all adults.

She told me I gave her a sob story, about being ill..

Well my sob story, as she calls it, is happening in one hour.

So..

If I make it back...

SHE is off my list... now that I know how highly she thinks of me.

And, I am clearing out the dead weight in my sl list.

I have been nice to everyone that I have met, I have accepted and offered a few friendships...
I have never been one to harass, or abuse anyone..

And now look where it has gotten me...

In tears...broken.. confused....hurt..lost.. alone.
(except for hunter..but that is too much to put on one person).

I get rl comes first.. I get that ppl have their own issues..

MY issue...

I am SICK of being treated like shit... like dirt.. like nothing.

I am sick of putting apart of myself out there for ppl to walk all over.

I have to go have something cute done to my heart now..
Its been in the works for a few weeks...well..months really...

And the only person that may have an idea of what I am facing is a friend....
but, will not reply to any of my email, ims, pm, etc...

More dead weight.

I am just so tired...

i wish I knew who my true friends were...

I wish I knew what my future after 6am holds....

I wish.................................................